Getting divorced is difficult for most people. However, there are things you can do when it comes to making divorce better. When your marriage reaches a point where one or both spouses decide to go their separate ways, it’s normal to feel grief, sorrow, and even regret. But it’s also to understand that this is a phase in your life that will end, and you will be able to move forward. These tips can make divorce easier for you and your children.
How to Make Divorce Easier
Whether you see the divorce coming or you don’t, there are important steps you can take to make divorce easier. It is possible to have a healthy divorce even when you and your former spouse don’t see eye to eye on everything. One of the best ways to do this is to hire a qualified and experienced divorce lawyer. Divorce lawyers have a deep understanding of family law and divorce law. They also have a vested interest in protecting your rights and the rights of any children you may have. Your attorney will offer legal advice throughout the divorce process, they’ll help you with your divorce papers, and they’ll work to get you the best possible outcome all while making divorce easier on you.
Think About What You Want
As you work through the division of property, assets, and debts, think about what you want and what matters most to you. Instead of focusing on what you think is fair, focus on what is most important to you. If it helps, create a list of what you need, what you want, and what you’re okay with letting go of. Be honest with yourself and don’t allow yourself to be distracted by the thought of “punishing” your former spouse by fighting for something they want or need when you don’t actually care about the asset.
It’s also important to listen to the advice of your divorce attorney. They may ask you questions about the things your spouse is requesting. This is typically to help them better understand what is motivating your spouse and puts you in a better position to fight for what you want.
Think of Divorce More as a Business Transaction
For many people, one of the ways to make divorce easier is to think of it more as a business transaction. Try to take some of the emotion out of it. While this is understandably difficult, it can help you as you work through this difficult process.
When you get married you enter into a legal contract. A divorce is essentially the termination of that same contract. While it’s important for you to acknowledge and process your emotions, it’s better to do so with the appropriate people such as friends and family or even a family therapist. If at all possible, don’t bring those emotions into the mediation room or the courtroom. Instead, focus on property division, child custody, child support, and spousal maintenance.
It’s equally important that you don’t just think about the short term. You also want to consider the long-term impact on your life that results from winning or letting go of various assets. Real estate, credit card debt, retirement accounts, any shared bank account, and more can all have an impact on future tax returns. Even child support payments and spousal support payments can impact your financial future. If you’re taking care of the children or seeking primary custody during and after the divorce proceedings, then you’ll want to make sure you aren’t putting yourself in a bad position financially by agreeing to give up too much.
It’s also important to understand the value of divorce mediation. Many people make it a goal to reach a settlement agreement in mediation. Not only because mediation is less expensive and less stressful than a long, drawn-out court battle, but it allows you to reach an agreement you can both benefit from. Whereas a court battle may leave you both wanting.
Get Organized
One overlooked method of how to make a divorce easier is simply getting organized. Gathering this information as early as possible will help you prepare for divorce and throughout the divorce process.
- Get a copy of your credit report.
- Gather up previous tax returns.
- Make a list of all assets and debts.
- Start tracking expenses if you haven’t already.
- Get a bank account and a credit card in only your name.
Doing these things will save you the expense of your attorney doing it for you. If you don’t have access to information, you need then work with your attorney to get access. They may also help you discover any hidden assets you weren’t previously aware of.
This information allows you to see the bigger picture of what you have together. Remember that Texas is a community property state. That means that anything acquired during the marriage other than inheritance or gifts are viewed as mutual assets.
Build a Support Team
If you want your divorce made easier, then you’ll need a skilled divorce attorney. While it’s great to have friends and family that support you, they aren’t likely as familiar with divorce laws as a trained attorney is. A strong divorce lawyer with experience and knowledge regarding the divorce laws in your state is priceless. Hiring them to handle the legal aspects gives you more time to care for yourself. Attorneys can also act as sort of a buffer between former spouses. While there are certain situations that may make speaking with your former spouse unavoidable, you can also communicate through your attorneys regarding legal matters.
Making Divorce Easier on Your Child
It’s been shown that divorce can have a strong emotional impact on children. If not handled properly then this could be a negative effect. When working through divorce and separation with children you may wonder how to make divorce easier on toddlers or how to make divorce easier on a child. Some of the best ways to handle this involve paying attention to how you handle yourself.
You want to make sure you’re there for the child. Never talk negatively about the other parent in front of the children. Both parents should continue fostering relationships with the child unless there have been incidents of domestic violence and the child is in danger. Pay attention to your child’s behavior and your behavior as well. Focus on moving forward rather than struggling to stay in the past. Change is difficult but you and your child can get through it much easier if you embrace the change.
